A Cursed Exams

Having my last term exams on 28 and 29 mar 07.

As reflected in the title.. the exams are cursed!!!!

why?

1) cuz my office closing FY... so i m unable to take more leaves for revision.. for those who noe me, i like last min revision.. but i can't! haiz.. work commitment.. if i take leave, i m sure it will b approved.. but i can't just leave those work to my colleagues... it is a type of responsibility!!! so i took leave oni on the days of exams...

2) however, the wk b4 my exams, i had been working overtime just to make sure things dun go go haywire when i m not ard... so when reach home liao eat late dinner bathe etc, i m too tired to even flip the txtbk n lec notes... dun even have time to sleep more than 5hrs per day.. tat was a torture..

3) n despite the fact tat i m working ALONE and without the existance of dinner @ 9:30pm, my stupid twin still can mms n ask me if her new house color match the door anot... i was very pengz... u think my hp beri big can show the pic beri clear? then when i replied her via my office's web sms (which already indicates clearly i m still in office)... she still can further probe whether match anot!!! pengz!!! twin!!! u sure had chosen colors tat match. dun match oso paint liao! so wad u wan me to reply when i m so bloody bz? u wan me to compliment rite? haiz.. or u wan me to assure u tat ur taste is good? wait till i free then praise u ok? i will b free nx yr (hopefully)

4) was very fed up with work already.. n i remember its a fri nite... my monkey called me... told me he can knock off liao, asked if i wan to go ktv with him n his cousin.. but i really so tired.. n i still need to work even though its really late liao.. then when i expect him to comfort me more over the phone, he had to hang up cuz his frd is driving, he got to entertain him... haiz... i almost pengz.. in normal circumstances, i wldn't mind cuz shouldn't treat frds as driver.. but when his gf (me) is so down already, cannot stinge on a few more secs of comfort leh! i almost cried after he hanged up... cuz i can't figure up i m so lonely... so i punch the keyboard buttons so hard.. to force back the tears... n continue to work...

5) then when i tot tat was all, then my "auntie" came n torture me!!! it was one wk early!!! where got such logic one!?! normally early oso by 1 or 2 days!!! pple stress is auntie come late, me is 1wk early? then nvm.. it was so painful... but i still have to work n study!!!

6) then my computer is officially down. can't boot! certified dead!! then how m i going to do research?!? die!!! i got no one to rely on!!! i m left all alone!!!

with all the signs, i think tat this coming exams is really cursed.. the wk was really torturing. i tot i couldn't live through march. will die of exhaustion or stress or depression. but tat was not all.

7 ) my dear pet cat, old lulu, whom was with me for more than 15years!!! yes, not typo, is 15 years... old cat... had to pass away on 28 mar 07... which is on the day of my 1st exam.. i dun wish to think about it now.. it was still beri hurting... i told mum tat i really can't take it anymore.. i dun wan to go for the paper already... n i already cannot concentrate with my last min revision for the paper at nite. cuz my eyes were always full n blur by tears.

on the way to sch, i was crying in the bus. n in the mrt. hiding my face behind the notes. pple who saw me, sure tot wad happened... just tat i can't accept the depression..

*will blog one post specially for lulu*

when i reached sch, i still can't help crying.. had to go toilet n dry my eyes... then after exams... ask twin, i m still crying... thanks twin... cuz she understand wad i m going thru... but after she left n continue smsing me while i m in mrt back home.. i m still crying..

haiz.. my eyes already beri swollen after not enuff sleep.. plus all the crying.. its worse...

8) woke up 2nd day morning for my 2nd paper. saw mum crying about lulu. i can't help it. cuz we've all been fighting very hard to hold back the tears. i tried not to cry in front of her. but now we all break down again. i asked god, how to find energy to continue my paper? so i went, with an attitude tat i m going to fail for sure.

after exams, it was a fri. i went back to work with my swollen eyes. cuz tat was the last working day of last fy. so i die oso have to go back n clear the work. my colleagues happily asked me hows my paper. i couldn't help but CRY AGAIN n tell them about all the difficulties... they understand.. thanks colleagues! then they all beri automatic n do more work n asked me to go back when its 8pm n they r still working... thanks.... sometimes its so nice to noe tat its so good tat i m not fighting the "war" alone..

end of fri, end of 30 mar 07. end of the cursed exam of last term. tis term i dunno. but i noe tat tat was the most difficult exams i had since my life as of current. i told myself, if i ever successfully cross this hurdle, i will b stronger. with god n lulu's bless, i will!